Disclaimer: The following is intended to be humorous and a little informative. No traveler was physically harmed in the development of this opinion piece.
"On the planet Earth, man had always assumed that he was more intelligent than dolphins because he had achieved so much—the wheel, New York, wars and so on—whilst all the dolphins had ever done was muck about in the water having a good time. But conversely, the dolphins had always believed that they were far more intelligent than man—for precisely the same reasons.” - Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy, 1979.
While it appears the dolphins have not given up on human society (just yet), it seems that the United States and our ability to traverse the globe is in a state of limbo. Passports have been relegated to nothing more than a showpiece. Hotel, rental and airline rewards are mere status symbols. Our ability to find the latest and greatest new rib or taco joint is all but a thing of the past. Even trying the latest bacon-infused tequila cocktail with a hint of rosemary at our favorite watering hole is just not an option for many of us in this crazy world of 2020. For the record, I am certainly trying that drink at some point.
That said, the world spins on. Projects are no longer on hold; clients are requesting services and ISES employees are on the road again (woohoo!). It’s an interesting new world for the business traveler. In some cases, business trekking has become a little less trying. Was it 100 years or 100 days ago that the act of traveling for business in this country was just not fun for most? Leisure travelers did not quite understand the etiquette of traversing an airport, train station or rental car center. My, how things have changed! Today, the business traveler rarely sees a vacationer.
While there are fewer flights to choose from, and most airport and city restaurants/bars have limited or no service, there are some positives. Traffic to and from the airport and at the destination is lighter. TSA lines are mostly a breeze (unless it’s a Monday morning in Atlanta, which might as well be the 8th Circle of Hell – Kidding, love you Hartsfield-Jackson!). Planes, Trains and Automobiles are significantly less crowded and much, much cleaner. Some airlines have an open middle seat, which is just the best. Business travelers like me feel like we got a free upgrade!
This will not always be the case. In v.1, a version of this blogpost drafted pre-COVID, I had developed a list of recommendations we could all follow that would make our travel lives just a little bit easier. While most of the recommendations hold true, I’ve amended it for life in COVID times.
- Wear a mask, wash your hands. Period, period, period!
- Review the layout of the transportation hubs you will be traveling through prior to your arrival. Every airport, train station, subway and rental car center has detailed maps and lists of amenities showing open locations available through the facility’s website.
- Have your credentials and documents ready while waiting in line. Please don’t wait until the last minute to retrieve these items.
- Treat footpaths like you would a road. In the US, stay to the right so people with tight connections may pass unimpeded.
- Move to the (right) side on escalators and moving walkways to allow people to pass if you are not actively walking.
- Do not crowd entranceways to jetways or trains.
- Do not stop at the bottom of an escalator or stairs, pull out your map or phone, and figure out where you’re going. Step away or the people behind you will stack up on your back, impelling you forward onto your face.
- Let the people on the train get out before trying to enter it.
- Review the transportation hub’s personal assistance policy. The individuals who provide jetway and gate assistance do an outstanding job. They offer help to those in need, and their assistance is often free. I do recommend a little gratuity. They work hard.
- Don’t be rude to the employees providing you a service while traveling, whether they be security, flight attendants, restaurant employees or others. Delays are out of their control. They will provide you with information when it becomes available.
- Please observe basic hygiene when flying in an airplane or traveling by rail. Taking your shoes off and placing your feet on the seat is just gross.
- A comedian friend of mine likes to refer to airplanes as “big metal fart boxes.” There are restrooms for a reason.
- Review ride-share policies before ordering your Uber or Lift. These services mostly require masks nowadays so please respect that, for your health and the driver’s.
- Get comfortable ordering takeout using delivery services such as Grubhub or Uber Eats. While there are problems sometimes, by and large my experience with most food carryout and delivery services has been positive.
- Most importantly, do not travel if you are sick. Stay home and get well before you put yourself and anyone else at risk. I know this can be a sacrifice, but it is for the greater good. I have, on many occasions, canceled travel plans (business and leisure) for this very reason. Not because I am worried only about my health, but more so for the people I could infect.
At some point we will get back to a semblance of life prior to our current situation. Upon that day, I hope that you will enjoy the time with your friends and families, beaches and skyscrapers, skiing or surfing. By just respecting the fact that we are all traveling together and being mindful of the people around you, I promise, the stress of traveling can be alleviated, and we will all have a smoother trip.
P.S.: DO NOT FORGET YOUR TOWEL. NEVER FORGET YOUR TOWEL!
P.S.S.: If you missed some of my references, I highly recommend reading The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy.
